For Valentine's Day this year, I decided to break out a box of old notes from middle school and high school. [I keep them in an old Nokia phone box... ya know, the phone with the Snake game.]
This may become a thing if people tell me to keep it up, but here are some of the first few that I opened. They already tell a pretty big story in my life.
First up, from middle school. Tyler was my neighbor. I was such a prude all through school, and he was..... the opposite. But lemme tell ya... I fell for my first bad boy back in the early 2000s.
Well, give it a little time when I have a crush on someone else [go figure] and Tyler writes me this note that obviously pissed me off enough to crumble it up, but not to throw it out. [Unless a bully stole it and crumpled it and threw it and then my full of love self went and got it back... that's probably more likely.]
Fast forward a couple years, and I had my first boyfriend. About 6 months in everyone was teasing me about being a prude and I guess this note was one of the first times we were talking about "doing more" than kissing.
Not long after that, I find out this same boyfriend cheated on me [for the first time of many]. Look at this POS's email afterwards... talking about forgetting about it and s#!*. I'm so mad reading this now.
As funny as it is to see an old email with those names and fonts and everything [his SN was "MastaBig38" because I had a big butt- 38" around], I'm SO MAD AT HIGH SCHOOL ME FOR HOW I HANDLED THIS CHEATING FIASCO. There were several more times I found out he had cheated. He'd make me feel guilty about questioning it, and then I'd write a long note like this one apologizing for it.
WHY TF WAS I APOLOGIZING?!?!?!? I always tell people how proud I am that I've always been a girl that's very sure of herself etc, but I was not the same strong woman then that I am now. I'm pissed off. I could laugh at this, and maybe I will when I pull them out in another 10 years, but right now I wanna slap the s#!* out of myself.
It's funny to find these as the first five I unfolded in my box because they tell a very quick story of my life. I was obsessed with Tyler, and the mentioned Travis, for years. When I finally got my bf Chris, I was all about him for two years, even through all of the terribly embarrassing cheating scandals that cost me a lot of friendships and dignity.